I want to eat all of the love in the world

Sometimes I long to be little,
To be that ephemeral,
A ball of lightning inside my chest.
Sometimes I long to be small again,
And yet
I cannot bear the thought of being that lovable.
I do not want to be loveable,
I want to be all-consuming.
To expand and heat until even soft fingertips cannot bear to hold me.
I want to hold the entire world inside my stomach,
Choke it down like a handful of pills,
I want someone to look at me and only see something
Too much to love.
I want them to love me anyways.