A Poem For Ashlee

Inspired by Dance Nation by Clare Barron

You are not alone. I promise you that.

And you’re right. You are frick’n gorgeous, but do not mistake beauty for obligation or their praise for your safety. Your curves may be matured and you may drink black coffee, but remember you are still a child.

Walls are built for protection, and those walls are not simple; they do not distinguish right from wrong so much as comfort from future pain. You have the right to be comfortable. You have the right to say no.

Walls may be built for protection, but protection does not always come from adults. Look to the girls who dance around you; their minds are as strong as their ankles on pointe. You can lean on them as they lean on you.

Not all touch is nice, and not all men are mean. And math is hard. Let your excellence build you up, not tear others down.

Look for an outlet. You will need one. For without it, when the fangs grow and the blood pours, you may bite the very people that hold you together.

Perhaps your outlet can be poetry. After all, you love a challenge, and if you are going to be a genius one day, you may as well start soon.

Write about the pain in your chest and the scar that you grow into. Do not bury them down. They are not shameful. They are relatable. 

And when the dark clouds come and you want to pretend you don’t exist, know that I want you to exist.

I do not know your future, but I can imagine it. You will mistake attention for love, and you will struggle at first to recognize real love when you feel it.

You will work your epic bottom off and use your intelligence to help people.

You will be heavy with the weight of the world, but someday, someone will come along and help you carry the load.

Yes. You are strong. Yes. You are beautiful. Yes. You are funny. And one day soon you will shout it from the rooftops so everyone can hear.

Author’s Note: I was in a play called Dance Nation, and I played a character called Ashlee. She is confident and funny, and she takes care of her friends. But her personal life is much more complicated than she reveals, with absent parents and people who pay far too much attention to her body. She struggles with depression and insecurity, but she finds great power in herself. I spent a lot of time inside of Ashlee, and eventually, I wanted to write down my thoughts.